Manchester United - 2016 and Louis van Gaal

To be completely honest, I was quite optimistic when news filtered through in May 2014 that Louis van Gaal had been appointed as United's new manager, after David Moyes was dumped in April.

He was preparing the Dutch national team for the World Cup in Brazil, and his captain was none other than our main striker, Robin van Persie. All signs pointed to a bright future ahead, especially when this happened barely a month later, and United then bought the player who supplied the cross.

Fast forward barely 18 months later, and we have this. And this.

Wayne Rooney is captain, whilst Robin van Persie is playing for a team in a f'king ugly yellow strip.

Even the latest win over Liverpool (sweet as it was), doesn't paper over the terrible, huge cracks that have appeared over the United first team, compared with their stylish predecessors.

The despondency, disbelief and sheer negativity that now surrounds the United faithful is threatening to become somewhat permanent, and there is real risk of United turning into Liverpool, Newcastle, Leeds, and every other "big" club that's fallen to bits and forgotten what it was like to win.

Whilst all this rubbish football is being played, van Gaal continues to be delusional. United are NOT winning the league with only 3 shots on target each game. De Gea is far and away our best player this season (and the last) - and that says it all.

How dafug did United go from winning the league by 11 points over City to scoring precisely zero goals at Old Trafford for 10 first halves in a row (or something like that) in just 2 years??

FWIW, even Moyes was doing better after 22 games than van Gaal is this season -

Moyes in 2013-2014       - 22 GP, 37 points, GD +9
van Gaal in 2014-2015    - 22 GP, 40 points, GD +15
van Gaal in 2015-2016    - 22 GP, 37 points, GD +8

I know Scholes and Neville and many other pundits feel that van Gaal should be given time, but I'm frankly sick to bits every time I watch United. Some nights, I can't even be bothered. And some nights, I fall asleep watching United play. At 10pm.

WTF.

I have to watch this video to remind me of the beauty of football, sometimes.

And this video is also a timely reminder of the grit, loyalty and bloody single-mindedness that is now needed to get United out of the hole we are in. Players need to stick together and work hard.

But first things first. Louis has to go.

Wah #Biang Eh!

Imagine having to write this word 1,000 times.

Man United 3-1 Villa - 5 in a row!

Guardian match report here.

When I compiled my predictions of United's last 11 games, the team had just come off a comfortable 2-0 win against Sunderland, and although the results were good, the team's play on the field didn't really match up to fans' expectations.

One change to the starting 11 for that Sunderland game was the inclusion of Ander Herrera. I had been calling for his start for the longest time, and he has brought instant class to the team with his play. Herrera has started every game since Sunderland, and this has resulted in 5 Ws in a row.

Herrera scored 2 against Villa and linked up well, again, with Mata on the right. Rooney had a great goal, but a forgettable afternoon, whilst Di Maria got another assist despite playing only 20 minutes.

The real story for me is the confidence streaming through the team the last 2 or 3 games, and this has translated into wonderful play on the pitch. van Gaal's constant refrains of "balance" appears validated.

Carrick's return into the base of the midfield and Shaw's injury, has allowed Blind to blossom at left wing-back. His partnership with Young and Fellaini on the left has been very productive.

City, Spurs, Liverpool and Southampton have all lost points this weekend, and United's stranglehold on a Champion's League place appears almost complete.

Still, next 2 games will be tough. City at home and Chelsea away. I predicted 2 points earlier, and I still think that's a good return. It'd be great if United could sneak a win in either game.

Who knows, if United win both games (and with Arsenal still to visit Old Trafford), I'd be dreaming of bigger things...

Liverpool 1-2 Manchester United - Gerrard screws up again

BBC match report - here.

I usually like to gloat after wins against Liverpool, but strangely, last night's game didn't compel me to burst into a frenzy of messages to my Pool-supporting friends (of which I have too many).

There were so many reasons to gloat - see picture above for examples.

Liverpool's last loss in the league, 14 matches ago, was the 3-0 game at Old Trafford (which was more uncomfortable to watch than last night's), and Steven Gerrard's geriatric madness descended yet again. Also, United had more possession than Liverpool at Anfield.

But ultimately, the game never became frantic or anxious, and I never felt United were in any danger at all, and that's commendable, given our defensive frailties.

Of course, Phil Jones is still a dumb f**k at times, whilst Rooney and Di Maria were (almost) completely useless, but still, a commendable performance from van Gaal's men.

I've also noticed how Di Maria always gets an assist, or throws in a few dangerous crosses every game, even when he's playing like cr*p. Last night, he dribbled into 3 players in the 85th minute or so and lost the ball when he should have taken it into the corner flag, but he also lifted the ball perfectly to Juan Mata, who scored from a wonderful volley.

Mata is now truly showing his intelligence and his link up play with Ander Herrera and Valencia on the right was wonderful to watch.

Hopefully, the corner has been well and truly turned. Now, we only have Falcao (assuming he stays) and Di Maria left to rehabilitate.

My predictions have been turned against its head now - see here - but I'm certainly not complaining. A couple of weeks break now might actually do more harm than good, but next game against Villa at home should be a doozy. Then it's City (H) and Chelsea (A) after that.

Here's keeping those fingers crossed.

Man United v Spurs - Is this the turning point?

Guardian match report here and Michael Cox's analysis is here.

Clearly, this is what the players are capable of.

In my earlier post, I predicted a score draw, but Spurs never looked likely to claw their way back after a wonderful start from United.

Carrick released Fellaini with a first-time slide rule pass into the box, and Mop Head finished with aplomb. Then Carrick guided in a header inside the box, and after only 30 mins, United were 2-0 up.

Wayne Rooney then did something I haven't seen him do in a while, rampaging past a static defence to put United beyond reach. The rest of the game was comfortably seen out, and even Rafael and Andreas Pereira got a run out.

Spurs defenders were easily knocked over, but this game showed that United have the capacity to play on the ground to devastating effect. Crisp passing, good tempo, and clever running created (easy looking) chances that were tucked away.

Key man for me was Carrick - his guile and calmness on the ball were terribly missed, in my view. Herrera and Mata linked up well in midfield too. And this game is further proof that Rooney does not belong in midfield, and Ashley Young is a better left winger than a left wing-back.

Looking ahead, United have their tails up going into their next game, Liverpool at Anfield. Hopefully, Louis van Gaal goes into that game with the same mindset, looking to attack Liverpool's weaknesses rather than trying to stifle their attack.

MH 370 - A year on

It's been a year since MH 370 disappeared with 239 persons on board. As we approach this heart-breaking anniversary, there have been a couple of new theories that have cropped up, like here, and here.

The only thing we know for sure is that the bloody expensive search in the inhospitable seas off west Australian has been futile so far. Most of the experts assigned to the search agree that the data shows the plane went down in that area, but other theories persist.

I found out about this tragedy on the morning of my usual Saturday soccer session, when my Twitter feed exploded with the news of the disappearance of MH 370.

The news then hit home hard when a friend sat down, in the midst of our usually boisterous games, looking rather ashen. He was working his mobile phone non-stop, and he explained that his brother was a MH pilot and he was due to fly that same morning.

It wasn't until a couple of hours later that he managed to reach his family back in KL, who told him his brother was safe in Australia.

It's been emotionally difficult keeping up with news on MH 370, and I can only imagine how much harder it must be for the families of the ones who have perished or remain lost.

I can only pray that closure comes soon for everyone involved.

Man United remaining EPL fixtures - is 4th place likely?

These are Man U's last 11 games of the season.

According to Arsene Wenger, 72 points is the cut-off for the Champion's League places, so essentially we need 22 points from these 11 games. Let's see if this is possible.

Newcastle (A) - This would have been a tough proposition earlier in the season, but after Pardew left, Newcastle have been poor. I'd expect a close win, so 3 points here.

Spurs (H) - Spurs will want to bounce back after their dispiriting loss in the League Cup Final, and they are a tough match-up. I'd expect a score draw, so 1 point.

Liverpool (A) - Very tasty game. It'd be at least 2 to 3 goals separating both teams at the end, either way, but more likely in favour of Liverpool, who have an amazing 8-1-0 EPL record their last 9 games. 0 points

A Villa (H) - This should be a straightforward win. Anything less would be disappointing. Damn, I might have just jinxed this. 3 points

M City (H) - First of a run of 3 very tough games. This will be a close one, and I'd take a draw, to be fair. 1 point

Chelsea (A) - If Chelsea are > 7 points ahead by this game, they might just relax a little. But probably not. 1 point would be great.

Everton (A) - Again, a tough match up. But Martinez's teams always have a few weaknesses at the back, and MU might just sneak a win here. 3 points

WBA (H) - This needs to be a win, and nothing less. The 2-2 draw at the Hawthorns was quite unforgivable, so redemption is due. 3 points

C Palace (A) - Again, if we are to qualify, this has to be a win. 3 points

Arsenal (H) - If it all comes to pass, United would be coming off a 3 win streak heading into this (likely) decider for Champions League places, and with their tails up. Or United could be coming off a terrible loss, and needing a win (which will likely mean a loss at the end of the day). 1 point

Hull (A) - Last game of the season, and if United's players aren't putting their everything into this game for 3 points, then van Gaal might have a lot more to do during the summer. 3 points

Totalling up the above, we come to the (unsurprising) tally of .... 22 points! So, that means we are going to qualify! Yay!


*Disclaimer - all the above are just guesses, hor. And Arsenal finished 4th last year with 79 points. So please don't bet on any of the above outcomes. I'm not responsible for any monetary loss you might incur. So there.

Man U fans need to stop pining for Alex Ferguson

Manchester United fans must stop pining for Sir Alex Ferguson's champagne football - that era is over - from Gary Neville.

Read this earlier, but forgot to post this. Neville is a very intelligent football guy - always worth a read or listen.

I like this paragraph in particular -

"This idea that United are lucky is wrong. Luck expires in an unbeaten run after three or four games. One defeat in 19 is not luck. Then again some of the big signings of the last 18 months are still well below their peak. They are not performing anywhere near full tilt. That’s a concern. In the next two or three months those star names have to perform or will find themselves under pressure."

Just your regular Monday afternoon bitching session ...

Here's the thing.

I'm having breakfast at Yakun @ Parkway Parade with my younger girl. We managed to get a booth seat, but after about 15 minutes or so, the place filled up quickly (Parkway regulars will know this).

I was having a conversation with the daughter when this Chinese lady about 60 to 65 years old, suddenly came right up to my face and asked if we were going to be done soon. Really, right up in my face. And loudly too. Startled the cr*p out of me.

Neh-mine.

Told her with a smile that, no, we're not going to be done any time soon.

She then disappeared with her husband and after a few more minutes, she plonked herself down on a spare stool at someone else's table.

And started staring at me (or my general direction - I could be exaggerating). 

Literally, it was like this -

Ok, to be fair, she didn't look like this guy here (who's auditioning for a talent show, but I digress).

But still, that's how it felt. Every time I look up at my daughter I can see this crazy old lady staring at me. WTF.

So I try this tactic (which usually works). I stared right back at her.

Except, her super powers were far greater than mine. She didn't even blink! NB. Fail.

Her husband then found another table elsewhere, cos I can hear (and see) her telling her husband, "No! I'm not sitting there cos it's too hot there and I want to wait here." Then she resumes her unflinching stare.

In face of such power, I gave up. I finished up my kopi peng and got ready to go. 

Before I could even get out of my seat, and before daughter had even stood up, she was already beside my table and beckoning her husband over.

Now, this is what got me thinking.

Should I have done what every bloody person seems to be doing nowadays, ie SHAME her, STOMP her, etc? (For the non-locals, this means taking a photo of her fugly mug, and sticking it on Facebook).

Or am I being too "ngiao" about this?

The Great SIM Card Heist

The Great SIM Heist - from The Intercept

I've had this saved on my Pocket reading list for a while, and just got round to it.

This couple of paragraphs say it all -

"With these stolen encryption keys, intelligence agencies can monitor mobile communications without seeking or receiving approval from telecom companies and foreign governments. Possessing the keys also sidesteps the need to get a warrant or a wiretap, while leaving no trace on the wireless provider’s network that the communications were intercepted. Bulk key theft additionally enables the intelligence agencies to unlock any previously encrypted communications they had already intercepted, but did not yet have the ability to decrypt."

And,

"Leading privacy advocates and security experts say that the theft of encryption keys from major wireless network providers is tantamount to a thief obtaining the master ring of a building superintendent who holds the keys to every apartment. “Once you have the keys, decrypting traffic is trivial,” says Christopher Soghoian, the principal technologist for the American Civil Liberties Union. “The news of this key theft will send a shock wave through the security community."

This basically means US and UK spies can (and probably have) gone through everything you do on your smartphone. But only if you're an interesting person lah. Like DSAI.

One more thought - the spies also probably have all the iCloud-hacked nude celebrity pictures already.